The Secret Face of Holacracy

In August of 2013, I embarked upon a transformative journey that most people would commonly call a job. I joined a company called HolacracyOne. A leap to a new mindset regarding leadership. I remember experiencing my first “aha moment” shortly after starting. In a governance meeting that day, one of my HolacracyOne partners made a proposal that restructured the entire company. It was a massive reorg, made in barely two hours. I was quite disoriented during, and right after that meeting. It felt like I was working in a brand new organization, except that the same company purpose and roles were still in place. That moment seemed almost surreal.

Living Holacracy

A distinctive facet of HolacracyOne is that it uses a fundamentally different organizational “operating system” called Holacracy. On its website, HolacracyOne defines it as a “complete system for self-organization” that “revolutionizes how a company is structured, how decisions are made, and how power is distributed.”

For 1.5 years, I wholeheartedly played with Holacracy, embracing a set of rules that define roles, processes and policies compiled in the Holacracy Constitution. I acted as a leader or a supporter, depending on the role and the occasion. I absorbed input, channeled feedback, and when I was sensing a tension, I processed it by bringing it to a governance meeting. It was as simple as that. Well, on paper, because in practice, it took me a few months before I was comfortable with the process. There was no need for drama or for playing politics in the workplace. And that, in itself, was relieving; work was infused with a taste of freedom while still having clear boundaries.

Overall, Holacracy brought a lot of clarity around my work, both on what role was accountable for what, and through what authority the work was performed. With that level of clarity, I understood that evolving the governance structure, within organizations running with Holacracy, was nothing special but a common occurrence in pursuit of the company’s purpose.

When Holacracy creeps into your personal space

Quite frankly, I’ve never been moved by the theoretical, or even the most practical aspects of Holacracy — even though transformative, not to say revolutionary, for the organization. Principles like being able to shape the nature of the roles in the organization, or not having a boss are addictive. But what has always intrigued me about Holacracy is the next layer: the one that you don’t suspect when you first start your Holacracy journey, the one that is more difficult to detect because it assumes a bit of practice.

I’ve been utterly fascinated with how Holacracy became a mirror of clarity for my own self. I was surrounded by so much clarity all day long at work, that it naturally began to leak into my life outside of work. I remember the first time I wondered what accountability I was relying on when I asked my life partner about the laundry. I felt pretty stupid for a second before I realized where that impulse was coming from. It made me reflect on how Holacracy was creeping into my personal space.

Joining HolacracyOne has been a catalytic turning point for me. It wrought a psychological transformation that subtly and slowly affected my inner self. I was so much embodied in the practice I had been learning for 1.5 years that it began to give me insight into my personal life as well. At a certain point, I had no other choice but to be as crystal clear in my personal space as I was being in my roles at work. At the time, this evolution was not so apparent to me, but the magic was happening.

In a very uncharacteristic move, I left HolacracyOne in Dec. 2014. I quit a series of roles I was passionate about, with a dream team, at a fascinating company. But all this was obviously not enough to have me stay in the organization. The decision to leave was a harrowing one, though a forgone conclusion. I was missing the most important piece: a life purpose aligned with the organization’s purpose.

Being aligned

“Holacracy is not about the people. […] It hasn’t been designed to improve people or make them more conscious. […] Yet, by not trying to change people, it provides the conditions for personal development to arise more naturally — or not, when it’s not meant to be.” — Brian Robertson

This is precisely what I consider to be the most fascinating paradox of Holacracy.

In a way, Holacracy has played a critical role in my personal life: that of an invisible, tactful life coach. It never told me that I was wrong, but silently pointed out my contradictions. It was a profoundly revelatory and psychological experience that moved me toward personal growth. In the last 6 months, I’ve made drastic, painful, heartbreaking decisions for myself. Sometimes, they were choices I would never have been able to make in my pre-Holacracy days. And yet they feel right, authentic, like an organic flow. I’ve acquired a deep sense of alignment with myself, coupled with a feeling of extensive freedom. Today, I’m the truest version of myself that I have ever been.

And that is a blessing.